Rejection sucks! In any shape and form, it’s very difficult not to take rejection personally. If you don’t get the job you desperately wanted, if your incredible novel is turned down by publishers, whatever it may be, rejection hurts. And rejection can really hurt when you’re out and about in the dating realm. Dating itself takes thick skin; it’s definitely not for the weak at heart. But the first thing you need to remember when you’re dating online is don’t take rejection personally. Easy to say; hard to do.
I have dated a lot online. And the majority of the time, that is exactly where the date stayed. Online. There were plenty of times when the men I communicated with seemed extremely interested and we shared some wonderful online communication. And then suddenly it would stop. I would be ready to take the next step—the phone call or the in-person meeting, and they would be long gone. REJECTED! Ugh! Even after it happens a lot, it never gets any easier or feels any better.
The only thing I can say on this subject is you cannot take it personally. You must not take it personally. If the guy bails on you without even meeting you, how can you possibly take it personally? He doesn’t even know you. And obviously, he doesn’t know what he’s missing. There could be a variety of reasons why great online dates suddenly and inexplicably come to a screeching halt. Nine times out of ten, the guy just isn’t ready to move on to something real. It’s nice and safe behind that computer keyboard and he doesn’t want to take the risk of meeting in person and being disappointed. I know many couples who engaged in a strictly online relationship. They never met in person until months later. Whether it was long distance or other reasons, this is what worked for them.
But if you’ve recently met someone online and exchanged a few fun and flirty emails and then he disappears, I say good riddance. He’s doing you a favor. If he isn’t even capable of carrying on an innocent email relationship, then one shudders to think what might happen if the two of you actually did meet and started dating on a regular basis. The minute he got a little scared or commitment-phobic, he would be out of there, and then you would really have something to feel badly about.
Don’t take the online dating rejection to heart. It happens to the best of us, and it comes with the territory. Take a break from the dating scene for awhile if it starts happening more often than you’d like it to. Take a break, recharge your battery, and then come on back into the fold. There are good people out there who really want to meet you, and won’t flinch or flee after a couple of email exchanges.
Photo via fmgbain
